My First Mother's Day!

Believe it or not I somehow let Trev take me away from my baby for Mother's Day weekend. I couldn't imagine leaving my little 2 month old home for 2 nights! I had seperation anxiety the whole week before leaving. Grandma Lund drove to Bountiful to pick him up and we headed to Moab! I have to admit we had a lot of fun doing things we can't normally do together. 

Trev and I went up Friday to ride our favorite mountain biking on Slickrock. That night Ryan Kellyn Blub and Izzy came up. We camped and went Jeeping and hiked to Delicate Arch. We had a blast, but I was definitely anxious to get back to Liam! 

It was so good to see his smiling face on Mother's Day! I love being a mom so much. I love being able to take care of Liam all day and feel so blessed that I am able to. Even the "bad" days are a blessing and it's crazy how one big smile can make your whole day worth it. 

2 Months Old

Liam is officially 2 months old! It is bittersweet. Part of me wants him to stay little forever, but it is so fun to watch him get bigger and do new things. Trev and I still find time to do fun things we just bring little guy with us. We love when dad chips and putts and we walk around in the stroller. We also went to a Bees baseball game and I wrapped him in his baby wrap and he just slept on my chest the whole time. He is really a chill baby and is so good when we go out. 

A few fun facts about our little bug. He loves being naked and is all smiles on the changing table. He found his voice and loves to baby talk with us. He also found his hands and tries to stuff both fists in his mouth. The play mat is his favorite thing ever. He can kick the crinkley leaf and play on it for hours. He definitely cries more at night when he is tired, but doesn't want to sleep. As soon as we start to get frustrated he will shoot us a smile or little laugh and we just have to look at each other and laugh because it is the cutest thing. We love him more and more each day!!!

Liam's Baby Blessing

Today Liam was blessed by his incredible dad. He gave Liam such a beautiful blessing. I wish I could remember every word.  He blessed him to grow strong and have a healthy body. He blessed him to have a love for the gospel and to go on a mission. He was blessed to have the power to discern what is from God and what is from Satan. He was blessed to find an eternal companion who he can take to the temple. 

It is such an amazing thought to think he has his whole life ahead of him and all the amazing things he can accomplish. I hope he loves and clings to the gospel and I hope Trev and I can be prime examples of that. 

He was surrounded by both mine and Trevs family. We are lucky to have such a strong support system. It was a good day to say the least!

Because He Lives

Today is Easter Sunday and I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Gratitude for the gospel, the atonement, my family, the beauty of the Earth and so grateful we have living prophets.  #becausehelives has been a trending topic and I love reading the blessings people observe because He lives.  I have put some thought into that hashtag. #becausehelives our lives have true purpose. I know Christ atoned for us. I know he rose. I know we can have eternal joy and happiness with our families. I am most grateful for the knowledge of eternal life. I love knowing that if we endure faithfully I can be with Trev, Liam, and the rest of our families for all time and eternity. Without this knowledge I believe I would still be happy. They are pretty great after all, but knowing that Christ was resurrected and knowing we will be also makes this life so much more important. It gives purpose to my every day actions. I hope and pray that Trev and I will raise a family in such a way that they too know that because He lives we can have a forever family. Happy Easter!

One Month as a Mom

Well I have survived the first month as a mother!  However, I have loved my new full time job so it has been an awesome month! 

Week One:

It took both Trev and I to figure out how to dress him! Liam so so patient. Who knew it would be so hard to get a onsie on?  It also took both of us to change his diaper. We sure got peed on quite a bit that first week due to our rookie diaper jobs. 

Liam smiled from day one and I am obsessed with his cute little grins, half smiles and ear to ear smiles. My favorite thing is after he sneezes he gives us a big ole smile and coos. It is adorable!! He also smiles after he eats and is drifting off to sleep, and when he has bubble guts. 

He has been a fantastic eater and gained 8 oz his first week! He had his first check up at 5 days and passed with flying colors. He even have the doc some smiles and she was so impressed. 

I don't think we heard him cry once his first week home. He would just let out some adorable whimpers when he got hungry. 

Trev had the whole week off and was AMAZING! I loved watching him with Liam because he loves him so much. I had a pretty rough, painful first week recovering and Trev was so good to let me rest. He cooked, cleaned and ran any errands. He hardly let me do anything but be with Liam and sleep. 

Trev had to go back to work the next week so Grandma Lund stayed with us. She was a lifesaver. She cleaned, cooked and let me sleep. 

It has been so fun spending my days snuggling our little Liam. I take way too many pictures because I can't get enough of him! We are so in love and happy he is part of our family!

Liam's Birth Story

February 28th changed our lives instantly in a way we could have never imagined. I was always told childbirth was nothing like you see in the movies thanks to modern medicine. This seemed especially true after photographing the beautiful birth of little Sierra for my best friend. Everything was really calm and peaceful. Things did not go as planned for us. I never want to forget the details of that special day that our little Liam entered our arms and stole our hearts. 

Tues Feb 24: Trev and I were getting anxious as we watched my due date come and go. 

Wed Feb 25:  I started having contractions 5-7 minutes apart. They didn't hurt, but Trev in his true fashion erred on the side of caution and called the hospital. Since I am group b positive they told us come in to check things out. We went in about 11:30 pm and they sent us home about 1:00 am.

Thurs Feb 26: I started having contractions again about 4 minutes apart around 9:00 pm and they were uncomfortable.  We went in a little after midnight and they monitored me a couple hours. I was only at a 1 so they have me the option to stay and be induced or go home. I decided to go home to try to get some sleep and see if things progressed naturally. We got home around 5:00 in the morning and tried to get some sleep. 

Fri Feb 27: I woke up at 8:00 and was having pretty bad back pain and consistent contractions. I waited for Trev to wake up around 10:00 and he called our doc. He said to definitely come in. My induction date was scheduled the next day so he said we would just move it up if things didn't happen naturally. It was a crazy feeling knowing this was it!

The plan was to have an epidural so that we could relax and have a calm peaceful birth. I imagined they would lay him on my stomach right afterward as Trev cut the cord. Well things didn't quite go as planned...

Around noon Dr Oglesby came to see me and was going to break my water but when he checked me I was barely dilated to a one!  So they started me on Pitocin to get things moving. It took forever but around 4:00 pm I was finally dilated to a 4!  This gave me hope and also was hurting enough for me to ask for my epidural.  I got my epidural around 4:30 and the doc broke my water. There was a little meconium which can be dangerous if it gets in his lungs. 

The epidural kicked in and tried to got a little rest. I thought it was weird that I could still move my legs so I started getting nervous.  I slept for a couple hours and Trev and I just hung out watching shows. About an hour later I started having intense contractions a minute apart and I could feel them--this was not fun!  Dr O came in and said he should check me because the pain I was feeling and portraying seemed like I was at a 9 or 10 with an epidural, but when he checked me I was only to a 5. I felt like such a wimp! He said he would have Bobby come back to check my epidural. Bobby came in about a couple hours later because I was in a lot of pain. They checked me again and I was at an 8 and having strong contractions a minute apart. When he pulled the first one out he said it had slightly pulled out so I was only getting about half the dosage. All I remember at this point was being in so much pain. My whole body was shaking from nerves and adrenaline. He then gave me a second epidural in a different spot. I remember being so scared of having a contraction as he was inserting it but I think that was a tender mercy moment because I was able to relax as it happened. He also gave me a spinal block and said it should kick in after 5 minutes. Well nothing was working so he gave me a really strong dose of epidural. Finally I had some relief! My legs were completely numb and I remember thinking thank goodness!  At this point it was around midnight and we were both exhausted and fell asleep. As soon as I fell asleep I was woken up by a beeping noise.  The babies heart beat kept dropping after I had a contraction so the nurses came in and had to keep moving me from side to side to try to help. I felt bad because I was so numb and couldn't help them move me around. They discovered laying on my left side made it better so they kept me there. After that all I could do was watch that little yellow squiggly line that represented my babies heart rate. I prayed it would stay up above the red line. Trev calmed me down and reassured me the nurses were monitoring it and talked me into getting some sleep.  I fell asleep again and again was woken by a beep. I woke up and it felt like someone was pushing on my chest and I realized I couldn't breathe very well. I couldn't sit up to call for Trev so I panicked and frantically tried to find that remote that called the nurse in. I finally found it and hit the button and squeaked out that I couldn't breathe. They rushed in and Trev hurried over to hold my hand. The epidural medicine had spread up and started numbing my lungs. The nurses sat me up and let the gravity carry the medicine down.  I still had to think about breathing which made it really hard to sleep. Every time I dosed off my oxygen levels dropped and the beeping would wake me up. My nurse, Althea, came and sat by me so that I could try to sleep. This helped a little. Until I looked over and she had fallen asleep herself. About 2:00 I started feeling my legs again. I knew right away it was wearing off again. I stayed calm and pushed the booster button and waited 15 minutes to see if it helped. I remember I could feel the pins and needles creeping up my legs until I started to feel the contractions again. I woke up Trev to let him know. We called the nurse in to see if there was anything that could be done. On top of all of this I started running a fever of 100.5. The nurse said that was the cut off point of having a C section so if it went any higher that's what they would need to do. I would have been devastated to have a c section after everything I had been through.  The nurse left the room and I laid my head down. I remember feeling Trevs hands on my head and thought he was comforting me. I opened my eyes and realized he was giving me a blessing. I was so grateful for that and felt so blessed to have a husband who relies on our Heavenly Father to get us through tough times. I remember watching the clock and it took about 45 minutes for the medicine to really wear off. I was in a lot of pain again and called the nurse in. She checked me and we had great news, I was fully dilated!!! I was in so much pain so she had me try pushing. I guess sometimes the pain subsides when you push so she wanted to try that. At this point it was about 2:45 am. The birth plan was to get to a 10 and rest an hour before pushing to let the baby work down a little further and prevent tearing.  The was no way I could rest an hour with how much pain I was in. The nurse called in Bobby and he gave us two options. He said he could try giving a little more medicine to help me rest, but he thought I wouldn't be able to push because of how fatigued I was and I would probably lose all feeling of it worked making it harder to push. He couldn't give me anything too strong since I already had so much in me and for some reason my body rejected it. He thought I would end up needing a C section with that option. The other option was to start pushing now. Both options didn't seem that great sounding to me and I was so out of it that I couldn't decide. They kept turning to me and I made them repeat the options a few times because I couldn't focus let alone make that decision. I turned to Trev to make the decision; poor Trev, either option wasn't great so it wasn't fair to make him decide. Luckily my nurse stepped in and helped us decide. The plan was to start pushing to see if adrenaline would kick in and see if I had the energy. They also didn't want my fever to affect the baby. I pushed from about 3:15-4:30. This was the hardest thing I have ever been through. This is the part that was like the movies, only worse. The pain would make me lose control of my body at times and I had to really focus to regain control. Trev was my rock through it all.  He kept telling me how pretty I looked and when I would start to lose it he would make me look into his eyes and take deep breaths. He fed me ice chips, held my oxygen mask on and got a rag full of ice to pat me down. He held my leg and coached me through the whole thing. Neither of us were mentally prepared for a natural delivery and I told Trev I didn't think I could do it. My whole body was shaking, I was fatigued and tired, my fever was making me sweat like crazy, and I was swollen from eye lids to toes because of how many fluids they pumped in me. He reassured me I could do it and I know he meant it. The only thing that kept me going was how excited Trev was when he saw the head. I felt like I had been pushing and pushing and made no progress then the nurse had Trev look at the head and he lit up and had the biggest smile. She brought in a mirror to help encourage me to push. I always thought I wouldn't want to see myself deliver, but it was encouraging to see that I was making progress and helped me keep going. 

When the head was to a certain point they called Dr O.  He came in and told us that a respiratory team was lined up and ready to take the baby as soon as he was born because he wouldn't be crying due to the meconium he swallowed. He also said the cord was around his neck. I was trying to listen but was pretty out of it. I'm not sure how long this last part took but it seemed like forever. All I could do to keep going was push and had to forget about the pain. It was as if my body new what to do and I had to get my head out of its way. The final pushes I remember so clearly. I knew I would soon be holding my baby and the adrenaline kicked in. I remember the relief I felt as the head finally came through and I felt the rest of his body kind of flop out of me. It was the weirdest feeling! I laid back, looked at Trev and said "I did it!"  

Trev quickly cut the cord and the respiratory team snatched him up to get him breathing. He was a dark green color. I kept trying to look at him, but I had to deliver the placenta and get stitched up. I just remember wanting to hear him cry. It took about 2 minutes but they got him breathing. He stayed pretty calm and didn't really cry much.  Trev held him and kept saying how Liam just kept gazing into his eyes. I was finally able to hold him skin to skin and warm him up. I was so happy to have him in my arms.  All the work it took to get him here was well worth it. I couldn't believe how perfect he was. 

I have relived the craziness of my delivery over and over. I'm not sure why things happened like they did, but I must say I am pretty proud of myself for making it through that and I truly believe I would have given up and opted for a C-section if it weren't for Trev.  I saw his true colors that day as he kept calm through the storm, relied on our Heavenly Father, and gave me the strength I needed to keep going. We learned and grew so much. Going through that together has brought us closer than we have ever been. 

We spent the next couple days in the hospital. It was our little heaven on earth. I love watching Trev be a dad. He has so much love for our little Liam. It makes my heart so happy. I love our little family and can't wait for the adventures ahead.

 

The Little Bump I Love

I didn't know what to expect when I got pregnant.  I have heard horror stories of being sick and bed ridden and getting stretch marks and the list goes on and on. What I didn't hear is how much I would love my little wiggly bump!  From the moment I found out we were going to have a baby, I read every day about how big it was and what it was developing that day.  I already loved the baby growing inside of me and was so scared of losing it.  When we told our families he was only the size of a blueberry and had already developed so many important parts of his body!  He will always be my little blueberry :)
I was very blessed to have an awesome pregnancy.  I only got a little nauseous during the first trimester and only threw up once.  I remember being so tired my first tri as well.  I would go to bed at 9:00 and struggle to wake up for work at 7:30.  My belly didn't really pop out until 20 weeks then it just kept growing.  I can't lie I was excited when I finally got a belly.  It didn't really feel real until then.  I started feeling little flutter kicks around 20 weeks and dad was able to feel them around 21 weeks!  His face lit up when he felt our little guy in there.
The second and third trimester were wonderful.  I got my energy back and the nausea went away.  I loved when Trev would talk to him and feel him moving around.  One time he kicked so hard that it made Trev jump! I will definitely miss being pregnant, but am so excited to meet him!